Make a Wish.........

Not so fast though. This wish is not on a star in the conventional way. Rather this is the much more interesting way of 'wishing on a DEATHSTAR!'

How does this work?

Well, as the Deathstar was used in Star Wars for destroying planets, so I am going to put it to better use and get it to rid us of things that need to go. It could be a personal thing or maybe a larger issue in the world but join in as i think this could be telling.

Shall I start?

I wish on the Deathstar, that it would destroy campness. (i dont mean gay that doesnt offend me its rather the lispy cock your leg into the air mannerisms that overtake someone the day after they've come out) Also, I make the wish to destroy all reality TV so I can get my life back on Saturday evenings.

now its your turn

the number you have tried is busy please try again later.......

.........or you can leave a message

Hi this is Chuckie i'm currently off on another holiday at the moment, but your call matters to me. So please leave me a message and I will endeavor to return your call as the next available moment.
........................beeep

We're All Going on a Winter Holiday..or two..or three

At the beginning of this year I had no expectation of having holdays abroad, in fact all we had booked for this year was CenterParcs in December. But with the engagement and wedding of my close friend Dave (from Ireland) this all changed. I've been to Sweden with him on a 2 man stag weekend. Then a few weeks later our whole family went to his wedding in the South of France to the hometown of his bride Virginie. So buckle up i'm going to take you on a journey of my Winter holidays and how fantastic they were!!!!

Sweden
Dave decided he didnt want to have a traditional stag weekend with loads of mates all visiting one drinking hole after another. Rather he wanted a relaxing time going somewhere different. So we went to Sweden, and why not! We arrived at Arlanda airport north of Stockholm and picked up the hire car, this was the only part of the trip that we had organized at this point. We didnt have a clue where we would be staying that night. So in true adventurer style we got a map and made the simple decision should we go up or down? Down won! As we drove we decided why not drive around the big lake that Stockholm sits on called Malaren and find somewhere to stay for that night. Some of you may be aware that this sort of overly optimistic thinking is usually guaranteed to backfire, and the reality of this situation is that its unlikely we'd find ANYWHERE to stay that night and would end up sleeping in the car. But we were two manly men on a mission and were 'confident' that 'something' would turn up! (are you confident?) We pulled off the main road and headed for a big town on the map called Strangnas. I'd be happy to just find a bed for that night that meant i'd not have to breath in the other blokes air or smell his feet. So imagine the shock that the first hotel we went to although it didnt have a room available, it did have a hostle a mile up the road that we could stay at. What a touch! That was that sorted! So we got some grub and found this place. Now we could sit and have a drink. Booze is mega expensive in Sweden so we were well prepared. We thought we'd start the holiday off with a gentle bottle of Whiskey with a few port and Absolut Vodka chasers. (all in moderation of course) Have a look at the map of the trip, i've broken down the different journeys into 3 colours - Day 1 Yellow - Day 2 Orange - Day 3 Red.



The next day we got up and found this place was actally right on the lakeside and had its own minigolf course (heaven). Then it was time to move on again. We saw a place when driving the previous night that looked interesting called Mariefred so thats where we went. Mariefred is a quiet village that obviously enjoys tourism during the summer. It's primary feature is Gripsholm Castle which is on the lake. (see photo right) Also it had a cute mini railway and a nice place for us to have coffee and cakes. Here I introduce Dave to Swedish cinnamon buns, lovely served warm. After this we decided to drive over the bridges that run through the middle of the lake and make our way to the large city of Vasteras. Here we did the most Swedish of things and had Swedish meatballs in IKEA! (and viewed some tasteful soft furnishings of course) We hadn't got a place to stay that evening but thankfully I have some friends in that part of the world who directed us to a camp site that had villas by the lake in an area called Angso. This time we started on the Port and finished on Vodka. I cannot comment on the discussions and humour that went on during these evenings but there was stuff that I will never forget! We were both crying with laughter at our stupidity.

Day 3 - We had a look around where we were staying, everywhere we went was so clean and beautiful. Long distant views and countryside which was a delight to a guy living on the suburbs of London I tell you. Today we decided to go to Vasteras city itself which was ok, but even better was the really good minigolf course we discovered on the way!! Dave and I have had a friendly rivalry for years. It started when we played tennis in our late teens. The rivalry is still there, even if the sport isnt quite as intense. All forms of cheating were in operation. Coughing when the other guys was putting, contesting each point, you name it. But Dave was on a mission, he wasnt going to let this one slip out of his hands as i'd won the previous game from the day before too! He had to keep his honour, and he knew that if I went 2-0 up he was in for the biggest ribbing from me for the rest of the trip. After this we went to a nature reserve on a local island and decided to do one of the walks. I wont dwell on this for too long but some people could say that we got lost and it was all my fault, but i'd like to say we took advantage of the opportunity to discover new places! :) (do have a look at the images of this trip on flickr) That night we stayed with the friends I mentioned before Danny and Birgitta. We enjoyed a traditional Swedish roast dinner, where the sauce is probably the most important part of the food, unlike the English where I guess it would be the joint of meat itself. Drinking, well we had an audience now so a bit of dignity was in order. Red wine was flowing steadily and I thank Danny for making sure he had 5 bottles of wine to hand! Then of course we had some more Vodka, it would have been rude not too. That night Dave bitched about my snoring, which is unfare as what are you meant to do after a heavy meal and drinking booze? Surely snoring is part of the package? Go to sleep ya miserable moaner!!

Last day well we had a gentle trip back to the Airport, but stopped of at a beautiful village called Sigtuna for some lunch. This trip was purely fantastic from start to finish, it wouldnt have worked as well with anyone. Sweden did us proud and Dave and I did each other proud! Thanks for a great time bud, and we have to do this again in a couple of years as resolved!

Check out the photos!

France This was meant to be a trip for Dave's Wedding in Avignon but ended being one of the best family holidays ever. We were offered to stay with friends of the brides family, which we accepted with the view that we could travel and stay in hotels after the wedding. The truth is we didn't need to. For a start we stayed with the most hospitable and lovely couple you could ask for. Nicole and Joel didn't speak a word of English but they opened up there beautiful home to us. If they came to England i'd be embarrassed at how pathetic and unfriendly the English are in comparison including me! I noticed that the French in the South are much friendlier than they are in my personal exprience in the North including Paris. They are very security conscious in their homes, but once you were welcomed in you are one of the family.

The wedding was an experience. I was Dave's 'best man' which was a priviledge and worth the journey in itself as we are very close. We all as a family sat at the head table. In fact my daughter asked cheekily if she could sit next the bride for dinner, which meant that Dave had to move over, which to my surprise he did! Good on you mate thinking of the little ones like that. The food was fabulous, apparently its more important to get the food right at a wedding than almost anything else, forget the flash cars and the posh venue. They had two giant paella dishes full of lovely seafood paella. these dishes were 4 ft wide each and had to be carried around to the other side of the reception hall where the doors were big enough to get them through. I was asked to give a speech at the reception, but unlike any other wedding i've been to, I had to go on the stage in front of 300 people with an interpreter! Now you try and be funny in that situation eh? lol It serves me right, i've spent years preparing myself for this job then Dave gives me a curve ball. It's alright though, maybe i couldnt be as funny as i'd liked, but the happy couple and the audience enjoyed the sentimental bits in the French translation. As far as partying goes these people carry on for hours. The cake wasn't cut until midnight when they also opened up the champagne. It was after this that the party really kicked off and the dancing got wilder. It was a family celebration even at this time, not just for the young, which was refreshing. The party carried until 3 or 4 am but parents, children and grandparents were still there at that time giving it large. We couldn't keep up and must have looked like softies from a feather factory but we took our kids and Nicole's mother (88 years young) back home to bed at 2 a.m. such lightweights!!!

The next day all the close friends go back down to the reception hall again and help with the clearing up. Then we crack open the wine and champagne again and eat whats left of the food that had been stored in the fridges overnight. Another PARTY!

We went to some fabulous places on this holiday. Such as the Popes palace in Avignon, and the famous Pont of Avignon where we get the song from (sur le pont d'Avignon....listen here). Roman history is everywhere in this region. We visited le Pont du Gard which is a Roman Aquaduct and bridge. The Aquaduct would feed the nearby Roman city of Nimes another of the places we visited, that has the best working example of a Roman arena. We learnt about Roman Gladiators which was so interesting. Also that same arena is used for bull fighting today. It seems as if the south of France takes much of its heritage and nature from the spanish. Another trip out was to Montpellier to the beach, it was so hot and beautiful, in fact the weather was fabulous all of the time we were in France. Now you can't be in that area of France without visiting a wine region and chateau. Just a short way away from where we were staying is the famous wine region of Chateauneuf du Pape, we only spent a little time here and the wine is very expensive. We did better than that. You see to a Frenchman there is a better place for wine and this is where Joel's directions whilst I was driving really came into their own. The region of Gigondas is the place. A lovely region with a small village built on the side of a hill with an old church and some ruins at the top. Believe me the wine there was easily the best I have ever had! I even had the facility to compare it with Neuf du Pape and it won! There was some chat about tannins and alcohol levels, but for a novice it came down to taste and that the wine was gentle on the throat. Beautiful. Obviously I bought some.

What superceeded this all this and made it a real holiday was the discovery of the Haribo Museum. My kids thought they were in heaven. I mean, its a place about sweets, that gives you sweets, that teaches you about sweets, that has exhibitions all around making sweets and enables you to bag your own packet of sweets, then to finsh it off you can buy MORE sweets. WE LOVED IT!

So thats that for this post, i've tried to make it interesting but i'm not convinced that any of you actually made it this far. Just 11 more days and i'm off on holiday number 3 for this winter to CenterParcs, what a tough life I lead...ha ha

Check out the photos!

wanna come out to play?

Well I new this day would come and its here. I've finally been tagged! The very lovely Clare has chosen me to tell you more about myself in this process. Well here it goes and it serves you right if I tag you next, because I don't want whatever curse comes from ignoring a tag and be attacked by a hairy gay gorilla with skull tatoos and a hairy nose.

These are the rules:
1. Write six weird things about yourself.
2. Post this confession of the absurd on your blog.
3. Tag six other bloggers to do the same challenge.
4. Leave a comment on each of their blogs to inform them they have been chosen.

1. I can play my teeth. Not just one tune but almost anything you ask me to play i'll do it. I tested it out when having a laugh with one of my nephews. He said you'd never be able to play 'We Will Rock You' by Queen. But I proved him wrong so there.

2. Up until the summer past i had a lump on my back that I have been ignoring for about 15 years or so. Well I had it looked at and removed. It was a cyst!!! All very yukky indeed, but i'm ok now.

3. I am addicted to ice cream, I love chocolate too, but its not the same. If someone said no ice cream ever again i'd cry my heart out. Sorbet is just not a substitute!!

4. I've always wanted to be a singer and dancer. Its true. I can sing a little bit but nerves take over. Otherwise i'd like to be an entertainer. The closest I get to this is my kids parties where I play a pirate.

5. I use to take a rugrats lunchbox into work everyday. I even chose it especially. Maybe its the affinity I feel with Chuckie Finster.

6. I once lost my underpants at Centerparcs. It gets worse. I got to the changing room and realised my pants were not there so went back to the locker to find them. But they had gone!! Someone in that minute had spotted them and taken them away. I've been checking Ebay regularly to see if they appear but nothing yet. Oh and my new name for the holiday was Nicholas, as in Knicker-less! Bum joke if you ask me!

wow thats me done. ok now to stitch up others! Top of my list is Jo as she's been slack on the blog front recently, and now she's got a cold too well she'll need a distraction. Also Chris and MaryB, I know this isnt 6 but the other people i was going to ask have been tagged recently and will throw stuff at me if I send it to them.

Thanks Clare for making me think about dodgy stuff relating to me and keep your blog going sister! Oh and hope you get over your sickness too!!

Oh btw just to add DONT SEE BORAT !! ITS Offensive rubbish. Yes I laughed but I also hate myself for it!

Beautiful...............................

They grow up so quickly don't they?

I knew there was a sweet smell in the air! Its the 1st Anniversary of this blog.

It was strange because I had just been wandering exactly when did I start blogging? I checked the date and it is exactly a year ago, to the day!!

Thank you to all those who read and comment, otherwise this exercise would be a lonely one.

To "celebrate" i thought i'd link to some of my favourite posts from the last year.

a good telling off by my mum.....funny (humour Nov 2005)

What Are Friends (Dec 2005)

Like a Healing Salve (sentimental Dec 2005)

An Eye Opener to Islam (an educational trip March 2006)

Spring at Last (April 2006)

Nobody told me....... (humour April 2006)

Triops (how cool are these guys June 2006)

I Dedicate this one to Dave..... (humour Aug 2006)

Back to Nature (photographs Aug 2006)

I was Slightly Disappointed (humour Sep 2006)

These ones were about the death of my mother in July. I've added them as part of my favourites just because expressing myself in this blog has been the perfect therapy in 'coping' with a tragedy. Please read them if you haven't before as they are raw and honest.

night night mum

the last word

It just calls for me to now say thanks for reading this year and i'll try and be more entertaining next year. Big Kiss!

The Devil Finds Work for Idle Hands..........

I have still got to update on my Sweden trip, and now also I have pictures on my trip to France with the family and Dave's (best mate, not any of the other ones) wedding in Avignon. But in the meantime have a look at this..........i've highlighted the stuff I can see myself doing.

Did you ever wonder what a husband does while he is in a store waiting on his wife to shop? Check out the following letter.

Dear Mrs. Harkins, Our store is considering banning your family from ever shopping with us again, unless your husband stops his antics. Below is a >list of offenses over the past few months... all verified by our surveillance cameras.

1. June 15: Took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in people's carts when they weren't looking.
2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in Housewares to go off at 5-minute intervals.
3. July 7: Made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the restrooms.
4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official tone, "Code 3 in Housewares!" ..... and watched what happened.
5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and asked to put a bag of M&M's on lay away.
6. September 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area.
7. September 15: Set up a camping tent in the sporting goods department, and told other shoppers he'd invite them in if they'll bring pillows from the Bedding department.
8. September 23: When a clerk asks if they can help him, he begins to cry and asks "Why can't you people just leave me alone?"
9. October 4: Looked right into the security camera; used it as a mirror, and picked his nose.
10. November 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, asked the clerk if he knows where the antidepressants are.
11. December 3: Darted around the store suspiciously, loudly humming the Mission Impossible" theme.
12. December 6: In the auto department, practiced his "Madonna look" using different size funnels.
13. December 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled "PICK ME!, PICK ME!"
14. December 21: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumes the fetal position and screams "NO! NO! It's those voices again!!!!"
AND LAST, BUT NOT LEAST
15. December 23: Went into a fitting room, shut he door and waited a while; then, yelled, very loudly, "There is no toilet paper in here!"

nope, i've changed my mind

Its like this. I was hoping this post would be my review of the trip to Sweden. Which believe me was an awesome trip of 2 blokes not knowing where they were going, set in one of the most beautiful and natural landscapes possible. But that'll have to save now for another day

Saturday I did a great thing for mankind!! I did something that other men quake in fear over. Some would soil themselves at just the mention. Rumour has it that one man after attempting to do this 'thing', that his head spontaneusly combusted and blew up in a crimson display. So what am i on about? I went clothes shopping with my wife!! No I really did, and I kept at it for 5 hours without complaining. Only 2 things saved me through it all.
1) I desperately needed the points with my wife after being off last week, and enjoying it!! :)
2) We were in Guildford!!

I will save you all from the details of wifey going twice into every womans clothes shop and carrying 8 garments at a time into the changing room. At one time she had 12 items and I had to stand outside ready to swap items over at her request! ENOUGH of that.

I wanted to share the photos of the buskers that I took on this visit.

This band is called the Holloway Brothers. (listen) They were just jammin when I took this photo and playing some cool funk, nice. Later they were all playing seriously and the crowd was loving it. This is what a Saturday afternoon shopping in Guildford is all about.

My man here on the bagpipes wasn't gonna take anything sitting down. Considering the effort it takes to play the bagpipes he just kept going in true scottsman style. Funnily enough I saw him the following day in Staines and we shared a spot of banter about the fact. Nice bloke, built like a brick outhouse. Definately not my normal skirt wearing type, but he does have a large hairy sporran if you like that sort of thing.

if I was not in this place now, Guildford I would be!

Since I was a kid my favourite place to live if I had to move was Guildford. Hear me out before you shout me down on this one.


This is what I like about it..
1. It sits in the best county in the country Surrey
2. Officially a city as it has its own cathedral
3. Its history and its castle ruins, the architecture is wonderful.
4. Multiculturalness (i like that) mainly I think because of the students from the college
5. Best cafe's and restaurants
6. Best shopping (it beats Kingston hands down!!)
7. Buskers. Not your scruffy lot but interesting colourful characters that wash.
8. Guilfest music festival but only in recent years
9. People look cool. Its the place where I consider what I wear before I go there, because people dress so nicely in Guildford.
10. My local and favourite branch of Richer Sounds is there. (DVD and Hi-Fi arooney!)

So why blog about something trivial like this. Well thats what its about right? It was going into Guildford for the first time in a year with my son, and soaking up the cool relaxed vibe. It just felt 'nice' to be there again. To sit in a familiar place drinking a perfect coffee, watching nice people dressed nicely, a breath of fresh air.

So I ask you why do you think I feel like this about Guildford? Why not choose somewhere exotic? Why not Kingston or even London?

Anyway i'm off now as i'm getting ready for my Sweden trip for this weekend. Thanks for bothering to read this far! :)

very random........

Thought i'd post some photos as my life has been rather dull lately. Enjoy.....

Kermit visiting us again this year. Although we dont have a pond, frogs seem to love our garden. Here's one in my bucket.

Male etiquette demands that it is inappropriate to take a photo of a fellow man's crotch. Catching a mate holding an inflatable spear like this, makes a comedy moment. (thing is, not to be caught taking the photo unless you are really good at talking yourself outta trouble)

My sons Darth Vader mask!! Whats going on with my hair though? I think it looks like a candle or something.

Hope you liked the photos. :-)

Panic Over.......

I've found my mobile phone so you can all just relax. What do you mean you didnt know anything about me losing my phone. You couldn't here me calling for it like a lost cat every evening. I walked the streets and moved heaven and earth to find it. Strangley enough I found it in my office the other side of the room on top of a tall cabinet in a desk tray and tucked into the corner. My guess is that the little gremlins or elves that visit my office to push the dust around a bit found it and thought they'd help me by putting it in the most obscure and difficult place they could. You see that way then nobody would tread on it! Ok its overkill as far as keeping it safe is concerned, but i'm just elated to have the little darling back with daddy again. (you're a lovely little thing arnt you? you are..you are !)

There's more to this aswell.

I never thought that I had become so dependant on my phone. Its not like I have friends that call me all the time, or that I spend every evening texting my cool mates like a spotty adolescent. Its the photos on it of family and my ever growing phone list that I couldnt bare to be without. At mums funeral I met up with old friends and obscure family that I haven't seen for 20 years and I don't want to lose contact with them for another 20. You see the value of the phone was greater than the phone itself. I'm not materialist enough to cry over a piece of plastic that makes pretty noises from time to time.

Here's a photo that was on it .....

My kids playing in the garden. I think they are trying to catch flies or something.

why Dirty Dancing?

What the heck is it about eh?

More and more i see Dirty Dancing as the ladies favourite 'happy movie'. Can you explain that? I just don't get it Dirty Dancing?!

Is this the only 'happy' movie out there? If I want to help my wife out of a bad mood do I have to play this movie over and over again? Am I destined to seeing this thousands of times before I eventually grow too much hair in my ears and get cataracts? (peace at last)

I was slightly disappointed

(You might have to click on the images to see them clearer)
Last week i got a call from Marie the young lady in our facilities department to come and pick up a package that arrived at 'goods in'. I wasn't expecting anything but I do get stuff sent quite often so there wasn't any reason for concern.

I got the package and was just signing for it when I notice the label was from some pharmaceutical supplier. Then I looked at the rest and saw the ' Viagra, handle with care' sign. Obviously this was a mate up to no good, but which one?? Was it one of the Dave's not happy with my last post?? I said to Marie that she couldn't leave until I had opened the package as I didn't want her to get the wrong idea. Her reply was a polite 'I did wonder'. So I started to open the packet. It then dawned on me that although I was sure it was a joke, maybe I had really been sent some Viagra. In a way I even hoped there was as that'd be really funny. There was something in the box that was for sure. Have a look.


After all that it was just a packet of Polo's. It was a good effort though!!

I discovered the culprit, 'Andy the Chef' in the company restaurant, Thanks for that Andy, next time can you include the real thing if you've got any spare that is!! (kiddin of course)

small kiss, big hug...........(Nacho Libre)

Been a busy couple of weeks.

Worked all last week with 2 friends on painting the outside of my house. I had to play the role of Gaffer (I said Gaffer not Jaffa!) aswell as one of the workers. I am convinced we could have used half the paint if it hadn't been so dertermined to jump off the wall and stick to me instead of doing its job. I'm not kidding anything that wasn't covered over ended up a lovely shade of magnolia. (known as 'mag' to those of us in the trade!- dont you know) Hands, hair, clothes and even my butt creak! For heavens sake is nothing sacred? (no bother it gently blended in the darker hair, how convenient)

We were overly optimistic with how much paint we'd use. I made a guess of 50 litres, my expert decorator Dave (dont start that again) thought we'd only use 30. The actual amount was 80 litres!! How badly wrong were we? You'd expect the paint to be an inch thick in that situation wouldn't you, but it wasnt. So I think I have helped Wickes to reach their paint sales for this year all on my own.

Job looks good now. We celebrated with a trip to Nados and then on to see Nacho Libre at the cinema. A good way to celebrate.

Other Stuff

1) I'm starting to like sad music

2) Went to the funeral of my mothers friend 'May' yesterday. I feel numb.

3) When are we all going to finally learn to put life into perspective?

4) You can bring a horse to water but you can't make it drink. (it makes sense to me)

5) The proof of us all is how we deal with things when under pressure. Its easy for all of us when things are going right.

6) Got the kids on my own whilst wifey is visiting a friend in Hastings. It'll be great! I can feel a bike ride coming on.

I dedicate this to Dave....but which one?

I can't quite call it a haunting, but I have been followed by an eery and chilling 'entity' over the years. How can I explain it? Well it has nothing to do with evil spirits, but saying that it is definately weird with a capital W...or is that a D?

D for Dave (or David). Am I the only person to be going through this, am I the only person who's whole circle of friends are called Dave. Now for someone called Charles (aka Chas) that often becomes a reason for great amusement. "Hello i'm Charles this is my friend Dave". The reply "what Chas n Dave?" har har har. Chas n Dave - Why Lord Why? "Do you know Rabbit? Or Gertcher? how about Snooker Loopy?" All classic Chas N Dave songs. To an englishman the names Chas and Dave go together like 'fish and chips' or 'bangers and mash'. (click on the song links for videos of these great british hero's)

Let me give you an example of a typical few days of being me and dealing with the collective known as 'Dave'.

Friday I go to my companies HQ in Portsmouth to see my mate Dave (Roberts, IT Student) before he returns to University. I text my mate Dave (Dawson, Delmonti) about meeting up on Sunday. I later receive a reply from same Dave to cancel Sunday. Sunday comes and I meet up with Dave (Young, been mates for 13 years), Dave (Johns, nice guy and a carpet fitter) and Dave (older bloke but an nice guy, I think he has an internet bride) along with a few others who's names I forget. That evening I am expecting to hear from Dave (Joste, best mate!) about going to Sweden, but he doesn't ring. I did get a call with some sad news that effects another Dave. (Knight, father to 2 friends of mine) Monday comes and I meet up with Dave (Dawson, Delmonte) for coffee. Not surprisingly Dave (gay receptionist) turns up aswell for his coffee break whilst we are there. That evening I go out with Dave (Young), who by coincedence is working at Dave's (internet bride) house, but all the while I am wondering how Dave (Dawson, Delmonte) is feeling after his run-in at work. When I get home I hope that Dave (best mate) has called, but still nothing! Am I boring you yet? Come on keep up!!!! Today is Tuesday and I have seen Dave and Dave again in the morning when getting a coffee, but I also see Dave (Cox, IT guy who's also a musician) and say hi. Then I went out to lunch with Dave (delmonti), but left my mate Chris with his workmate Dave (rotund chappy, but nice enough) as they were busy. Whilst out I had a call from Dave (Young) about painting the outside of my house. When I returned with Dave (delmonti) from lunch, I picked up another coffee and spoke for a few minutes with Dave (gay receptionist) about why there are so many Dave's around, to which he giggled like a girl. (better not think I fancy him!! that would make it Chas on Dave and I really am not that way inclined and would rather stick a fork in my eye)

I think i've made my point clear enough don't you. Tonight I still hope to hear from Dave (best mate) about our trip to Sweden. You never know my brother Dave might phone up, or maybe my nephew Dave or his father Dave may call out of the blue. Lets be honest if i didn't have Dave or Dave's in my life I wouldn't know many people would I.

ENOUGH!!......or is it? Its Wednesday morning and last night I finally heard from Dave (best mate) and guess what? The trip to Sweden has been postponed. He's given in to that crazed insanity you get with new love. Apparently he's fiance doesn't want him to go away quite yet because she'll miss him. I can't wait to see him now just so I can slap him about for being such a soft dopey DAVE! :-) I think i'm going to finish this blog with this link of Papa Lazarou's 'hello Dave"

Back To Nature

These are some photos that I had intended sharing before now. They are from the late spring when the Bluebells come out. They are taken in Coldharbour and the Leigh Hill area in Surrey near where I was brought up in Dorking.



Simply a beautiful carpet of bluebells, I like the sunlight coming through the trees on this one.




When I was a kid my mum took us out bluebell picking, and the house was decorated with these flowers. There's a law about doing this i'm sure, but it is still a nice memory. I definately like bluebells.



I got the kids to pose for this one as it reminded me of the Seven Dwarfs from Snow White walking over the bridge singing Hi-Ho.

I was astonished how much there is on Caldharbour, Leigh Hill and the Dorking area on the web. If you're interested try some of these links too they are very good.

Black and white images of old Coldharbour Village

A Dorking link that speaks about local Celebs past and present.
I can add a few to this too. Kajagoogoo use to record their music in Dorking when they were famous. I saw them once outside the Pizza Express in West Street having a drink. Another is Alex Kingston who's sister Nichola was in my class at the Ashcombe school. There was also the time Andrew Ridgeley of Wham fame came into a local Indian restaurant with his mates, and my school mate Misbah served him. If you are still unsure who Andrew Ridgeley or Wham are, then you might need to be reminded that the other member of Wham was George Michael.

the last word

As you can imagine its been a tough time with my mum's death. One of the most shattering parts has been dealing with family. I'm the youngest of 8 children, but I seem to be one of the most sensible which doesnt say much for the rest. A lot of emotion has been thrown about and its meant employing some pacifying and negiotiation skills.

The funeral went well considering, I saw a lot of family cousins and aunts etc that I havent seen for many years. Pop got up and said some stern words at the reception after the funeral, he felt the need to release some anger. If it had been any other occassion I think it would have caused a fuss, but people just accepted it as my father grieving. My brother asked me to play the role as an usher and a meeter and greeter at the funeral. It could have been tough but I guess the focus probably helped me through it all.

I chose some beautiful flowers for my mum at the local florist. When they asked about design i said i dont want anything that looks like funeral flowers but rather some that i'd take to a loved one. They did a lovely design with the floweres I chose. I also wrote the card and have attached the image, have a read.
A memorial service had also been arranged for the Saturday just gone. It was strange but i'd been having feelings about saying something about mum at this event. I had a chat with a good friend on the Friday who said you have one chance mate do it. He said even if you mess it up it doesnt matter but its better to have done it than to have wished you had after the event. So after gaining permission from my father I prepared a 5 minute or so speech. I decided on talking about my mothers personality and to relate a couple of stories.

An outstanding quality of my mum was that she was brave. She wasnt scared of anyone or anything. Rather people were scared of her!! Not because she was mean, because she wasnt! It was that she'd take anyone on that picked on her or her family. In this way she proved to be my refuge and my hero as a child. Talking about these things to others on Saturday was a priviledge I will always cherish! It was the right thing to do to have a personal word from one of us and i'm so proud of myself that I did it.

So this will be my last blog talking directly about this, I want to thank so many of you for your kind words and support. I hope it comes across how much she was loved and how much she will be missed.

With All My Love........Charles

night night mum.............

Yesterday my mum died age 78.


I had a call in the morning from my brother telling me the news, and it made my heart drop to the ground. I guess it is obvious that I was in a mess, all I desperately wanted and all I needed was to hug my mum again, to nestle into her neck and feel the comfort and the security that can only come from a loving mothers embrace. We rushed to the hospital and I went into see her. I was use to seeing my mum without teeth so that didnt shock me. All I could do was throw my arms around her and hug her and to tell her one more time that I love her so so much. Even though she was cold by now I found my mum and said my goodbye. So night night mum have a good rest you really need it I know, i'll see you soon enough, love you! Your ever loving son xx

Just a few days before, now thats my mum. Her name is Sarah but everyone knows her as 'Sally'. She is the most beautiful woman in the world.

The only way is up !! right?

I have been so quite on the blog front. The only reason I can think of is that i'm so exhausted physically, emmotional and mentally.

I had been offered some hope about getting the car on the road again but I think they were just teasing me. It is just too expensive and not at all cost effective to fix it. I'm now on the hunt for anything with 4 wheels and that works!!

My mum who is nearly 80 had a very bad fall 2 weeks ago. She feel over on a dodgy step leading out into the garden and has broken her hip!! Anything happening to my mum effects me badly as we are so close and effectionate. Thinking of my mum lying in the garden in such pain whilst my useless father sat in his chair not bothering to check if she was alright just makes my blood boil. In fact I only talked to him very briefly this week for the first time since the fall. I was concerned I might say something to him which would just make the whole situation worse. Anyway back to the condition of my mum. Well they did an 'emergency' hip operation 4 days later in the hospital and replaced the shaft of the femur with a titanium replacement and titanium ball joint. She's in a lot of pain. I think its hard on her especially as she had a stroke last year, and has not got full movement on her 'good' leg and suffers from drop foot. Its been tough getting to the hospital as my parents live on the east side of London. A friend took me up the day after the accident which was very helpful. Then Dave saved my life and offered me use of his car for the week, so I was able to see her! He said something very true to me and that was 'mams are special'.

Thanks again to Dave the Delmonti man again for that, and my mum says to thank you too from her!!

I think i'll finish this blog now and save the upbeat stuff for another time. (its not all been bad) I'd like to dedicate this to my beautiful mum who never scrimps on showing me love. (i'm struggling now) Here's a photo of her from when she was in hospital last year. (ironic dont you think)

14 Years, is that some sort of record?

Happy Anniversary to my darling wife on our 14th Wedding Anniversary!!

Funny how it goes so quickly. It certainly hasn't been easy. But i'm proud of me, proud of she, and proud of we.

I'm only 35 but been married for 14 years its so mad. Made even more so by the fact that my best friend of 37 is getting married for the first time this October. What makes it strange is that he is so pathetically loved up, that i'm considering locking him and his new Mrs up for the next 2 years whilst they calm down! I went through this when I was 21 for heavens sake!

I've taken this week off to spend more time with the wife of my youth, and our kids. We've done loads starting last Saturday 10th June where we decided to have a family day where we gave Anniversary gifts to each other including the children. We like making it a family time, not just mum and dad. Monday we (the family) spent the day down at the beach in West Wittering, which was beautiful and so sunny. We had a great laugh playing in the sea and jumping over the waves, making sandcastles and kicking a football around. Only downside was I got badly sunburnt and i'm still paying for it 2 days later! When will I learn?? Tuesday we went as a family to Legoland in Windsor. I was grumpy first thing probably because of the sunburn, but I didn't stay like it for long. I took my son on his first proper rollercoaster rides (nearly had to drag him on) and thankfully he loved it. The 2 that stood out would be the Jungle Coaster and the Dragon Coaster, both were good rides, with the Jungle Coaster having the most serious dip! Saying that, as we emerged from undercover on the Dragon Coaster we were met with a major blast of heavy rain! We got soaked!! It added an extra dimension to the ride that i'd be reluctant to redo ever again thats for sure! Our faces were pitted with the heavy rain meeting us at speed on the ride. That wasnt the only time I got soaked too, I think all the water rides and the weather had it in for me big time. The worse case by far was this waterfall that started and stopped in the Amazing Mazes , this suggests that you can pass through if you are quick enough when it stops, but oh no the blighter is rigged and it released its full force on me when I attempted a balletic swan dive to the path the other side. Wet does not describe what happened to me, neither does soaked or drenched. Is it posible to be wetter than in a bath? If so that was what I was!! This didnt dampen (groan) my spirits, I mean hey i'm on holiday from work and at a theme park with the family. Today (Wednesday) I took the kids out on my own and we went to a craft shop in Chertsey that allows us to buy and decorate lots of different gifts and cermics, which was great. I even had a go and painted a small bird box!! After that I took the kids to see the Disney movie 'The Wild'. All i'm going to say about that is DO NOT SEE THIS MOVIE!!! If it was possible to make a movie worse than Madagascar then I think Disney have done it. It got better this evening with my wife and I going out for a meal and catching Poseidon at our local Vue cinema which although it wasnt the best it did entertain.

To finish let me give you an update on the Triops from my last post. They have gotten BIGGER in fact if you include the full length of the tail i'd say I have a couple that are about 40mm long now. They are so fascinating, I love watching them especially when they eat. Lower fins have become evident now and they look fully developed. The only shame is that we have had our first deaths. As mentioned previously they have a short lifespan and I think that they died because I needed to replace the water more often than I have. Its a learning curve but the whole experience has been so cool and i'd recommend it. We have a number of the critters left to enjoy still anyway.

Time for bed now, I hope you found this all a little entertaining. :-) chux

Triops...............how cool are they!!

It just astounds me!

My son had one of these kits given to him as a gift, and so it has become our latest science experiment together. It is incredible, from dorment eggs that are like specs of dust, by just adding spring water to a container and doing minimal preparation within 1 week we have living creatures that have already grown to about 10mm long. I have checked just in case as to whether this growth rate will continue, which it will, but to a maximum of 25-75mm (1-3inches).

What I dont want to happen is that I come down one morning and these things have grown so big that they have eaten the kids for breakfast. Saying that the old coffee jar that they are currently living in may get bit tight in the next week or so. (blimey)

Triops are crustaceans that have been on the earth for a long time. A Triassic, Jurassic sort of thing. (what does the odd 10 thousand years here and there matter) They have been incredible to watch, although I must say my wife doesn't quite have the same level of enthusiasm about them as the kids and I do. The other sort of things you can get like these are Sea Monkeys which live for longer but don't get any where near as big. Watching them eat their food is facinating. They hold it under their body with their legs (for want of a better way of expressing it) whilst they slowly eat. They often scuffle when it comes to lunch times a bit like a donut in a health spa.

There are loads of information resources on the web about Triops. Here's one with good images and the video clip is excellent. click

Bipolar

Have you had this experience?

One minute you are laughing and then the next sobbing like a child?

All it leaves you is exhausted, shattered and heartbroken. Even with loved ones around you, you can feel so alone and so misunderstood.

Sometimes I can't even keep up with being me! People have an expectation that I just cannot fulfill anymore.

I can't say I ascribe to all these feelings in the image but I understand it better than I want to.

Missing In Action

Have you seen this kid?

Rumours abound as to his real identity. Some say his hair turned that colour after an alien anal probing. Others think he is the lost love child of Jonny Rotten and an orange. But we just know him as 'Chuckie'!