I hate that duck!

Keith Harris, the ventriloquist.....whatever happened to him eh? Cuddles the monkey was the better of his creations, who's main purpose was to abuse and destroy that flippin Orville. That blasted song!! Now I've thought of it I can't get it out of my head, its like that pregnant caterpillar thing that went in Chekov's ear in Star Trek - Wrath of Khan.

A past memory I have of Keith Harris with Cuddles was on a Saturday watching Seaside Special. (I'm so old!)) Cuddles was pestering him for a wee. Now, if you are sad enough to know what i'm talking about perhaps you recall this banter went on for a bit until Keith finally said, "have a wee then!", at which Cuddles replied "Weeeeeeeeeeeeee".

Just like Cuddles I want a wee too, but spelt Wii. And just like this furry fella i'm not able to have one. Stocks are out! So I'll have to just hold on and suffer the pain until I too can shout "Wiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii"

they're all flocking........

When i'm talking about flocking, I don't mean the Seagulls, or as I'm currently calling them, Vindictive Giant Flying Rats. These evil flying vermin of the coast, can dump on your car (moving or not) with such pinpoint accuracy that the Airforce has invested millions in studying and copying these birds for their next round of friendly fire. Its not just the accuracy though its the ......quantity! I need a trowel to clear the car nowadays. If I didn't know better i'd have thought cows could fly, (they can't can they?) and that they had a personal vendetta against mankind.

Enough sidetracking. When I'm talking about flocking I mean the people. Bexhill may seem insignificant on a map of the British Isles, but it does seem to be the Mecca of the South Coast, drawing people from the North in droves. (well a few at least) Especially those from London and it’s suburbs. I already have friends and acquaintances that have moved down from Slough, Cheam, Crawley and Chertsey.

For example. I had been looking for months for somewhere to have a decent coffee in Bexhill. Those of you from 'up North' and other sophisticated places take these simple things for granted with your Costa's, Coffee Republic and Starbucks, but we don't have these in our little town. In fact I was convinced that they had never heard the words fresh, ground, gourmet or premium applied to coffee before. Then one Saturday whilst walking away from town with my daughter toward the railway station for a trip to Brighton. I'd just sipped and thrown away another bad coffee that must have been made with a half teaspoon of Mellow Birds, when I stumbled on a coffee shop i'd not seen before. It was called Oasis, and is situated on on the corner of St Leonards Road and Sea Road. I still hadn't had a drink and we had a long journey ahead. Would this Oasis live up to its bold claim as a sanctuary for the parched, or was it just going to be another serving of muddy water, that tastes like it came from the washing machines outlet pipe? My confidence wasn't high.

This pessimism changed to confusion, that eventually led to elation. I know that smell, yes I’ve smelt it before. It was the rich burnt coffee bean aroma that I’d almost forgotten existed. Looking at the menu on the wall and my excitement was complete. Listed wasn’t just your well known Cappuccino and Espresso, but they also had other coffee variations that only people in the know would talk about, including Americano my staple drink for a few years. It wasn’t just words either, they knew the difference between this and a regular coffee. I didn’t have the time to savour this discovery as we were on our way to the station, so I had to buy one to go. So it was not until I sat on the train that I could taste test the coffee, which I am pleased to say was perfect! The taste was as good as the aroma that proceeded it. I had finally found the Oasis for my taste buds. I’d need to investigate this place further.

This is where the point of this post comes in finally. On my return to Oasis I discover why this Coffee Shop stands out in our little town. The owners are from the London area and have moved down recently themselves. This has to be the reason why they understand good coffee. They have tasted the delights firsthand and could see a gap for providing it in Bexhill. It gets spookier than this, because whilst chatting about the coffee and how they do their own blend and are considering marketing and selling it freshly ground for people to purchase and take home, that I discovered that Simon the proprietor worked for a computer company in my old home town of Chertsey up until the last few years. We knew the same people too!! This is not all . While we are chatting a lady nearby tells us she is from Cheam!! So she too must have been on the search for a place to rest up and drink what is now Bexhill’s finest Coffee Shop.

So they are flocking down here, away from the smog and the noise. Thankfully these ones have not brought that side of civilization with them. What the owners of Oasis have brought with them is a sanctuary of the taste buds, enhancing what is already our little bit of paradise.

To Cross the Road

Why should I feel nervous when I help someone cross the road? What have I come to, that my instinctive response when asked for kindness by a stranger is ‘what’s the scam’? What should have been a simple everyday case of humanity, made me look around for a non existent accomplice and then to feel guilt for thinking that way.

An older woman who obviously had some other ‘issues’ wanted help to cross the road in Bexhill town.

Are we really that suspicious and sceptical in the suburbs of London? I hate myself for thinking like I did. I want to thank that lady for helping me. It was her that helped me to cross the road.

Bexhill-On-Sea

These photos were taken a couple of weeks back just before the end of summer.

This is too dark but it's the only one I have of the coastline leading to Hastings.


Its amazing what you find in the rock pools! Fish, shrimps and more.


Wrestling an octopus by the looks of it!

He's been like that for hours.


Beach to the East.

The Lifeguards house on the East side.


Taken from the cliff on the Eastern side of the seafront.


It might not be paradise here, but we love it!

I never knew that........

Did you know that Midge Ure of Ultravox fame, was asked by Malcolm McLaren to be a Sex Pistol?

Midge also had his first appearance on Top of the Pops in 1976! He was with a Scottish band at the time called Slik. He was at that time 23 years old which makes him older than I'd have ever thought. A headsup for Delmonti on Midge Ure's performance of 'If I was', do you recognise the drummer?

Another interesting fact is that Holly Johnson of Frankie Goes to Hollywood fame is ALIVE! For some reason I thought he kicked the bucket years ago with aids or something, but I was wrong. So well done Holly!

One Hit Wonders!

According to Wikipedia, One-Hit-Wonders in the UK are a Top 40 phenomenon. Where an artist or band produce a single hit song that brings immediate yet brief fame.

It was whilst thinking on a recent post by PT that it made me think about my favourite One-Hit-Wonders. You can't always explain why you like a particular song like this but if you are like me you often felt disappointed that the group or artist were unable to repeat the glory.

These are the ones I could think of immediately when I considered the subject. You'll notice most songs were in the 80's and the performers had mullets! I've supplied as many Youtube links as I can to help relive the these glorious tunes.

King - Love and Pride. Also they did a follow up which I prefer called Taste of Your Tears but it did't get beyond no.26 in the charts so I dont count that as a hit

China Crisis - Black Man Ray

Alphaville - Big In Japan

Phyllis Nelson - Move Closer who can forget the gap in her teeth!

Tony Basil - Mickey (for some reason Youtube made me confirm my age before letting me see this video, maybe i've missed something)

Far Corporation - Stairway to Heaven (I prefer this upbeat version to Led Zep's, who never release it as a single anyway)

I'm sure i've shown my ignorance with some of these and that in fact the people involved have had huge success but never mind eh! Also i'm sure Delmonti will still be convinced I have 'Cloth Ears'.

So have you got any One Hit Wonders that have stuck with you? Where you shine a little light of remembrance for their all too brief flash of brilliance?

I would like to appologise to Altered Images, Transvision Vamp (Wendy James.....nuff said) and Billy Idol who I considered putting in this list until I went through Youtube and reminded myself of some of their other hits.....sorry.

Bird Flu.....

Yes it has been confirmed the 'man flu' virus has mutated into the 'bird flu' virus. Witnesses have confirmed that a woman in her 30's has caught this rare strain of influenza.

Her husband a popular local member of the community, had a severe case of the worst type of illness, referred to in the medical community as 'man-flu'. Hospital officals still believe it was a miracle that brought this man from certain death. One spokesman said,"Mr {name has been removed for legal reasons} has been what we can only describe as a hero and an inspiration".

Unfortunately the story does not end there. The man's 'bird', aka 'er in doors', aka his wife, now suffers from the mutated virus. She is said to be stable and expected to make a full recovery. The Hospital spokesman mentioned earlier said that "this illness is a much weaker type of virus and that the woman should pull her socks up and stop being a moaning minnie" he then added "what do you think Lemsip is for?"

The husband was asked to comment but refused point blank saying, "if the Mrs heard me talking about this stuff to you it would be worse than 'bird-flu' for me, it would mean BSE or CJD, and you don't want to see her when she's like that!"