Minnie the Moocher

This is the first of 2 videos from the 'talent' show last weekend. Come on join in....Hi-De-Hi-De-Hi-De-Hi!!!! People enjoyed it and we had some fun.

One for Jo......the skies the limit!

Jo recently had some photos of the sky from locations she had visited. It made me think about the lovely open sky view we get in Bexhill down by the sea. Here are some examples using my trusty camera phone.

This was viewing the sky towards the South East from the beach.


This time looking more South West. I love this image although it's a bit dark because I was facing the sun. See how the rays shine down from the cloud and make a bright reflection on the sea. My mum use to call those rays "God's glory". (click to enlarge)


Again the same view but just a couple of minutes later. If you click the image to make it bigger, you can see the sun's reflection on the sea getting smaller because of the cloud.

Am I feeling blue yet?

We've had our first major rehearsal for the show and the triumphal return of the Blues Brothers, along with other less interesting acts. At this point I can confirm we were complete rubbish. It all went so wrong....

1) Didn't get the intro music ready in time to practice my warm up words.
2) Sound tech was farting about with our first song and it bombed out half way through our performance.
3) Missed my queue in the song and couldn't get back into it properly.
4) Sang out of key. I sing low as a contrast in 'Everybody Needs Somebody' but I just don't sound right, and I don't have enough power. (I need more power Cap'n)
5) Wasn't close enough to the microphone, and thus people couldn't hear me. Paul was fine, as he naturally eats the mic when he sings anyway.
6) Both of us arrived in bad moods and headache's, it's safe to say both of us left like that too.

To top it off, someone asked which Blues Brother am I? The short fat one, or the thin tall one? It didn't take Einstein to work out that i'm both, taller and fatter.

At this rate I don't think we are on a mission from god, rather, we need some divine intervention to make us good!

Knock Knock...

A smart little video of (i think) a Kestrel with its trainer, swooping about. So beautiful.

This was taken on a great day out in October with friends and family to Knockhatch Farm not too far up the A22 from Eastbourne.

other highlights.....
There is something very disturbing about the way that 'widget' thing on its nose/beak moved around independently on this turkey.......yuk blahhhhhh.

We were able to pet these Llamas as apparently they are very sociable animals. The wool was very soft. Llamas seem to be a bit of a theme here in East Sussex, we have a Llama farm at nearby Norman's Bay.
These guys are quite near the entrance to the farm looking look like a comedy double act. They remind me of Statler and Waldorf from the Muppet Show.

Did I accept the King's Shilling?

You may recall from history lessons how men were coerced into joining the navy.

Becoming a sailor for the King's navy wasn't a pleasant job and recruits were reluctant. To try and overcome the shortage of men for the job, 'Press Gangs' were used to find men, however unwillingly, to sail the ships. To give some morality to the task, the Kings regulations stated that the press gang master could not assault you and take to as a new recruit, He had to see you take the "Kings Shilling". A common tactic of the Press gang master was to ply a potential recruit with ale...several pints later the unsuspecting victim would find a shiny new Silver Shilling coin at the bottom of the his tankard. This was enough to seal the deal and the man was led to the ship, or dragged as was often the case. It was for this reason that tankards began to have a glass bottom, so you could check your drink in case of the Kings Shilling being slipped in.

This is an exaggerated example of the sly and underhanded tactics used to get me involved in a local community talent show. Years ago I did a 'Blues Brothers' act with a mate for his parents 25th wedding anniversary. Although we were asked to do it for some other family celebrations after that, I felt it had a limited life. To be honest it wasn't that good either, so I decided nearly 20 years ago that i'd not be doing that again.

That was until one of my new Bexhill mates called Paul came up to me just before we went away to California on vacation and said, "I heard you want to do the Blues Brothers with me for this talent show". My reply was something like.." wha...the, how? who?...no I don't..blah". It works out that my wife was speaking to one of the organizers (her mate Sharon), and told them I did this 'Blues Brothers' thing in the past, and they decided between them that Paul and I would be good at it. So we were booked in as an act, without any input from me.

After that shock, I've had some time to get use to the idea now. If you recall in past posts my desire has been to overcome my personal inhibitions and to have a go at singing. It seems that my prayers have been answered, although not quite the way I was expecting. I've decided now that I just have to go for it. Paul was hoping that we'd just get up and sing, then get back off again...but oh no. If we are going to do it, then we shall do it properly! You can't go up on the stage dressed in black with the hat and sunglasses, and not expect to give a bigger performance than just singing. The poor chap looked pale when I expressed some of my ideas. Something that makes it easier this time and no disrespect meant to the fella I did this with before. Is that this time my partner has got some talent. He can both sing and dance. This means we can have a proper go at being entertaining, and have some fun whilst we are at it. Almost every time we meet to rehearse one or the other of us has a new suggestion to improve the act.

Maybe doing this is just what the doctor ordered, I think I need an outlet, and if the truth be known I'm starting to love the idea of it all. So going back to my point at the start, did I accept the King's Shilling? Well just like a sailor I think I got this job after being press ganged by some dodgy people. I have to admit though, now that i'm doing it I do seem to have found my sea legs.

back to reality

Do you like the new profile picture? It'll probably only be temporary, whilst I'm still clutching onto memories of a fabulous holiday in California.

So many highs, and i've got so many photos, maybe 500? There was no serious downside to our trip either, not even the natives. We stayed most of the time in San Diego which is a prettier city than Los Angeles and it has a strong naval culture and influence.

We did the LA trip to Disneyland for 4 days halfway through the trip. I just love the place. You arrive there and you naturally leave all of life's baggage at the door. I would like to say it was just for the kids, but that would be an outright lie. It pulls you into this wonderful make believe world, where everything is clean and everybody is polite and friendly. You are welcome not to agree but this is my 3rd visit to a Disney residence and I am convinced they have the best theme parks in the world. They are complete and flawless at what they do.

There was so much more to the trip than Disneyland though. Staying with wonderful friends who showed us great hospitality. Meeting new friends and having great times with them. There was also the few days we spent at Yosemite National Park. Where we drove and climbed mountains, discovered new (to us ) wildlife and hugged a giant Sequoia tree. As far as new animals were concerned we saw deer, lizards, a golden eagle and chipmunks to name a few. We even started tracking fresh tracks made by a black bear, until I realised this wouldn't be clever if we actually caught up with it.

The problem with all of these great experiences is getting back to 'normality' again. The jet-lag hasn't helped, but its more than that. I realise my dislike for my job has become a mountain like obstacle. It took 20 minutes of being back on-line, then suddenly I was hit by a huge wave of negativity from those around me, a negativity that I've had to get use too in the past. Problem is I just don't want to get use to it again. I guess this is just holiday blues, and nothing more....or is it? I love my life and family, I love my new home and location.....its just my work. It makes me almost tearful getting involved with this uninteresting and hostile environment again. It begs the question, what can I do about it? To be honest I haven't got an answer, but I think I'm going to need one real soon.

Oh well..............back to reality

Hot Hot Hot

Just wanted to rub it in a bit. California is HOT HOT HOT!! I don't mean warm or mild, I mean hot like i've never known it before. Humidity was harsh when we arrived but it has since subsided.

At this rate there is the smallchance I might bare flesh for a tan, but i'm concerned about the whale conservation guys in San Diego getting confused.

Which reminds me we have seen dolphins in the sea here.......at least I think they were dolphins. I did ensure we stayed in shallow water just in case.

Saved! By a bearded Virgin

Love him or hate him, Richard Branson has proved to be our saviour! Not only is the credit card I booked my holiday with one of his, and they have agreed to pay us the cost of the flights. The Bearded Virgin went one step better. We have been able to book a flight on his Virgin Atlantic and the seats are cheaper! A whole £400 cheaper in total.

Thanks your bearded virginess, for your help in a crises. Maybe i'll sleep tonight, as I certainly didn't last night, dreaming of happy smiling bearded virgins......or maybe not.

Zoom Airlines goes into Liquidation a Week before our Holiday!!! Noooooo!! you've got to be kiddin

How can it be, that an airliner who has successfully been running for 7 years, suddenly dies the week before we get on one of their planes?

Whats the chances eh? 1 week almost to the day

Probability of a refund from them.....nil. They have said try your credit card company. That's 2 grand to try and recoup if we can then.

The website is very apologetic though....That's nice eh!

Tonight the wife and myself were sitting down and watching the 10 o'clock news, when it came up as a headline. First thing we did was run to the computer to find out if this was true. It seems surreal that one minute we are chatting and drinking a coffee in the living room, and the next we are running about panic stricken. We chose them as they are the only carrier flying direct to San Diego. There's a definite lesson to be learnt here I think. Only use the major carriers, even if it means flying to an airport 2-3 hours from where you want to be.

Zoom.........stuff em eh!

The 3 S's, Sun, Sand and Sement (ok cement then)

Its that time of the year, when blogging slows down. It should be because of the hot summer we are having over here, but we know that's not true. There hasn't been a summer in this country for a few years now. There's so much I wanted to accomplish this year when it got warmer, but it just didn't happen! Of course there were the odd days here and there, but most of them were during the week when I'm meant to be working. We have had one BBQ this year and that's it.

Not all hope is lost though! One project I was determined to accomplish was relandscaping my pond. Boring !!! Well I agree it probably is, but as I didn't realise I even had any fish in this pond i'd inherited, it shows how uninterested in the subject even I am. It was after living here for a month or so that a mate of mine said, "you do know you have fish in that pond, don't you?", "No your kiddin". Apparently he wasnt and I have about 5 of the hungry chappies in there. Knowing this meant I have the responsibility of making sure they have a pleasant home to live in. One that looks a bit smarter and a lot less ...green. Problem is, I don't know anything about ponds or building and I have little DIY know how too.

This didnt stop me from deciding buy a new pump for the pond and wiring it along the edge of the garden, so we could have a water fountain feature. Also I wanted to kill the old waterfall/rockery that looked like it came from the sixties. This involved a lot of clearing and shovelling, quite a few hours worth. Then the same again with the aged crazy paved edging and stones. I really didnt realise it would be so much work. Come the bank holiday Monday, this was it, I am going to have a go at bricking in my own surround for the pond. How much sand and cement do you use?? Whats the mix? I guess I could have asked a man in Wickes, but I was too scared he might laugh at me. You see as a man you are meant to know this stuff, well thats what we are led to believe. Its the same with directions in the car. If we ask for help on jobs like this men are scared that their voice will sound like a choir boys and we would lose all our body hair.

So I had to just try! And thats what i did, it even went quite well. So this summer I have one job I can smile and say i've got done. With that in mind I can now clear off to find a proper summer, I quite fancy Califonia, sun, sea, sand and......I think i'll skip the cement though.

If

Occasionally I have been known to include a spot of poetry in my posts over these last couple of years. I'm not a soppy romantic, but I do love it when I hear or read the English language being used by a master. The best modern example is Stephen Fry, who wields the spoken word like a knight with his sword.

It was whilst visiting Bateman's, the home of Rudyard Kiplin. That I was re-acquainted with his most famous of poems, 'If'. I have included this poem below, please read through it. I believe this has a good chance of being the best piece of verse ever written. Even IF you know it well, reading it through again is worth the time.

[IF]

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you
But make allowance for their doubting too,
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated, don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise:

If you can dream--and not make dreams your master,
If you can think--and not make thoughts your aim;
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same;
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build 'em up with worn-out tools:

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it all on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings
And never breath a word about your loss;
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!"

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with kings--nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you;
If all men count with you, but none too much,
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And--which is more--you'll be a Man, my son!

--Rudyard Kipling

I dedicate this to my son.
I will always try my best for you
With much love
Dad

Birds and cars just dont mix

It was after seeing a young seagull this morning when going to the 'hairdressers' to get my 6 weekly haircut. Thoughts began to connect in my brain (slowly obviously), and it involved cars. The gull looked fluffier and scruffier than a normal white gull we have down here. This was because it still had it's baby feathers, although nearly full adult size. Anyway, I digress as always. Seeing this chap reminded me of a past post about these blighter's being rats of the sky's that find pleasure in marking your car as a sign of ownership, like a cat sprays to mark it's territory. You have to get use to this fact , accepting that you are going to be washing off bird pooh forever.

I do smile though when I see the vindictive nature of these 'ownership ......patches'. (for wont of a better word) It doesn't matter how pretty or expensive your car is , when these guys decide you are the object of their obsession at that time, you are in for it! They will cover your car!! And I mean cover, I really do! To help demonstrate what I mean, whilst sitting in my car at the local retail park, I was watching one guy as he was trying all he could to clear the bird mess from his car. He had just popped in the shop for a few minutes, but believe me when I say, that by the time he returned, every panel on his new Chrysler PT Cruiser had been hit. What makes this fact even more amazing is that the other cars next to it were not touched. His face was a picture, all read and sweaty, and he couldn't believe it. Can you imagine the utter hopeless feeling he must have had at this discovery? Then realising that people were looking at you, and that you had no option but to try and clear up as best you can. I'm surprised people didnt bring benches and chairs out to watch him. Imagine the cursing that he said under his breath!! I shouldn't laugh at the poor man, but the funny thing is, I can quite see the seagulls point, the PT Cruiser is a butt ugly car!

I can assure you that I had nothing to do with the next example. My mother in laws car. Well, ive just never seen anything like it. She had half her car saturated in the seagull 'tags'. Half a car is exactly what i mean too. All of the drivers side of the car, including half of the bonnet, roof and boot were splattered. It was such a perfect job that you could have used a ruler to follow the line perfectly. I wont say I thought this was very funny as you never know who's reading this post. I can't help thinking that the gulls have got a wicked sense of humour and a definite taste in cars. They must have taken exception to my mother in laws blue Toyota Yaris, maybe it was too boring or something.

I come to the final part of this post. I recently had my car serviced at the dealership, and they gave me a loan car for the day. Maybe it was too much to ask for this to have been a Mitsubishi Evo X or a Colt Convertable, but I never expected it would be butt ugly vehicle what is named the I-Car. I said butt ugly on purpose, because it looks just like a butt as shown in the image on the right. They said do I mind an auto? I said no, because I thought it would be some tasteful saloon car. How mistaken I was!! The reality was a small stunted abomination of a vehicle. To make it worse they had it plastered with advertising and sales details. Driving the car was embarrassing enough, but this made it unbearable. I've always fancied having a go in one of those small Smart cars, just for a laugh. After driving this similar looking machine, that desire has disappeared up itself. I hated everything about the looks,the space and the handling. If there was ever a car that needed to be splatted by the Seagulls this was it. Did they? No. Either they had been afraid to get near it, just in case it was catching, or I am miles off the mark in what is and is not, a nice looking car.

Some guys think having a flash car will help them get birds. I'm holding off buying my new Aston-Martin DB9 just in case the birds don't like it. I don't think I could take that kind of rejection.

Humour....simple is always best

No need for it to be complicated, this just works!

Diamond Geezer

I have long held a theory. That all of us have a bogey group, band or performer that we secretly love, but are to ashamed to admit it in public because they are cheesy or untrendy. Some of us may keep the CD's hidden behind our Pink Floyd or Deep Purple albums. We get them out and rock away to them when nobody is about. Maybe we put them in the car to play on long journeys.

It's on long journeys that my shame becomes evident. I love love love singing along to Neil Diamond's album, the Jazz Singer. 'America' stirs my emotions and I can't help stretching the vocal cords to near breaking point imagining that I am 'The Diamond'. 'Love on the Rocks' and 'Hello Again' make me floppy and smile contentedly like a baby that has just been fed and burped.

My wife was aware of my vice, and as a special for our 16th Wedding Anniversary bought tickets for us to see the man himself at the O2 Arena in London.

I was always aware that Neil (as I like to call him) has a great following of the maturer generation. I think I underestimated this fact when at the concert. I haven't felt so young since I tried to buy my first pint of beer at the age of 14. It seemed that a good 50% of those attending needed walking assistance of some kind or another. I'm surprised Stannah wasn't advertising like mad all around the venue! They'd have made a fortune with this audience. Those that were able bodied we're still of the blue rinse generation, a good 40 years my senior.

Don't think that these oldies had no life in them, because believe me when 'The Diamond' came on stage, the old ladies sprung to life. You've never seen anything like it. I reckon a good proportion of those present had pushed there hip replacement operations forward just so they were agile enough to show their object of lust a trick or two. The poor man had to keep dodging the old ladies 'Trollies'(knickers) being thrown at him. A detail I'd never experienced before was the amount of people walking about during the concert. It irritated me at first, because these old ones should be better behaved than that. Then I as I thought about it I realised these people probably had inflamed prostates and dodgy bags attached to their thighs that needed regular emptying before they exploded on those round and about. When I saw it in this context I was impressed that they lasted as long as they did between pee breaks!

Just because this was happening don't think I was too busy watching the oldies exhibiting there wares to enjoy the show myself. Let me tell you now, it would take a heartless man not too have got himself up singing along to 'Sweet Carolyn' until he's hoarse. You also have to applaud the performance and professionalism. It was a flawless. He did this all without any intermissions or breaks, just a solid 2 hours or so of the main man entertaining his audience.

Both wifey and I came away smiling. We had had a lovely afternoon and evening out together. It was an entertaining experience, that left us feeling happy on the long old journey back to the coast on the train.

So then i've been willing to bear my soul to you and admit my dodgy liking for Neil Diamond. Whilst i'm at it i'll also admit to having an obsession for The Bee Gees, and appreciation of Tom Jones and the Monkees. I can't explain or excuse these facts. I recon though i'm not the only one!! Go on share your dark secret love of a dodgy group or performer with me. Just Add a Comment, don't worry I wont tell anyone!

p.s do click the links to hear the man's music for yourself! Give into the cheese!!!

Long Man of Wilmington

Those who have read this blog before may recall previous mentions of some of the sights in the area. One of those I always intended to check out was the 'Long Man of Wilmington', about 12 miles away on the other side of Eastbourne.

My wife and I celebrated our 16th Wedding Anniversary and thought we'd take the kids out for an adventure to see our long friend and have a picnic. Here are some photo's from the outing.

History about Longman: The lack of firm historical evidence still leaves many theories abounding about his history. Many Sussex people are convinced that he is prehistoric, other believe that he is the work of an artistic monk from the nearby Priory between the 11^th and 15^th centuries. Roman coins bearing a similar figure suggest that he belonged to the 4^th century AD and there may be plausible parallels with a helmeted figure found on Anglo-Saxon ornaments.


Click on the image to see the big chap a bit clearer as he is quite a way in the distance. This was taken at the car park where we started our trek.

As normal with these sorts of features on the landscape, pagans visit the place at certain times of the year. Although there is no evidence to show this has any connection to pagans, druids and the like. I think they just want an excuse to wail and have an unusual bbq.


There are few historical references to the Long Man The oldest was a drawing made by a surveyor named John Rowley, in 1710.


The best bit of all I guess is taking in the fabulous Sussex views. Lush vegetation as far as the eye can see.

A Natural

You may have seen this kid before. He's a natural and only 2 years old(surely nearly 3! ha ha). Wonder what my other favourite drummer thinks. Play it all the way through. Checkout his left hand keeping good timing, kids arn't usually that good at rhythm at such a young age, some take even longer!

Snakes and Ladders

Surprising what a Saturday afternoon doing gardening and home maintenance can turn up.


This little fella was having a snooze in the sun on a rock around my pond. I must have disturbed
it whilst weeding and clearing. I was flummoxed to what sort of snake it was, as i'd never seen anything so bronze before. The kids went and got my wife up, who was having a nice nap that afternoon. This little chap caused a right stir. I picked it up to show the kids and wife, also to show off a bit that I was hard enough to pick it up. Truth is I'd never have done it without my thick rubber gardening gloves on. It was very exciting holding it as it swayed in a snakelike fashion. I'd say it was about 40 cm in length (aka a ruler and bit in length). It has a small darting tongue like you'd expect. It was also very docile and not at all aggressive which is why I felt confident to pick it up and show it off.

A little later I was able to establish that it was in fact a slow worm, which isn't really a snake at all. Rather it is a limbless lizard. I had seen slow worms when I was younger, but the colour of this one was so bronze and the ones I had seen before were more grey. This seems to be down to the fact that our new friend is a girly slow worm!

We let her slither in a gap between rocks so she could hide and get some rest from us. It's nice though to think we have nature's friends like this in our garden, but its even nicer knowing it wasn't an Adder!

Oh btw, we also have a few frogs. I haven't been able to get close enough to see them clearly, as everytime I get anywhere near them they dive into the pond.

A good a way to go?

It was my first time to Beachy Head, the cliffs next to the West side of Eastbourne. The views are stunning. It is probably now one of my favourite places on the South Coast near where I live.


There is a nice pub and visitor centre that are worth a look in. The visitor centre has a small museum of local interest at the back. This has displays and presentations on the local wildlife and details of historic significance about the area. This all sounds really nice and sweet doesn't it? That was until I arrive with my big feet ready to put them into my even bigger mouth.

Other people will take the place on face value and appreciate the heritage, but not me. Like serving a Pork Chop at a Bar Mitzvah, I arrive on the scene. I don't give any consideration to local sensitivities or peoples feelings, no not me. You see, Beachy Head has national fame mainly because of the amount of suicides that happen there.

Where other people might take this subject seriously, I with the sensitivity and feeling of a piece of coal can't resist going for the big one. How can I put this without making myself sound like a man with the tact of horny bull? Well I can't. I just came out with it to the man serving at the desk of the visitor centre. "So, how many cark it off the cliffs every year then?" It wasn't until the words were in the air that I realised how bad they were. The man was silent and stared at me like i'd farted in a monastery whilst the monks were in silent contemplation. To those of you that know me personally I'm sure you can imagine my useless efforts at backtracking as I try to erase my faux pas. Bumbling and rambling and stuttering , that hole getting deeper and deeper. Why is it you can't stop yourself in this situation. Best thing I could have done was turn around and walked back out.

They take this subject so seriously there that they have a full-time Chaplaincy Team to provide comfort to the potential 'cordless' bungee jumpers. These men of the cloth are supplied with their own Jeep to race to determined victims before they make their final attempt at being 'Superman' impersonator. Apparently some of those who are determined not to be stopped have to make a dash for it when the 'Collared' caped crusaders bound over the lumps and bumps on the landscape in an effort to cut them off from an appointment with the light at the end of the tunnel.

Death and suicide I know are not funny. I apologise for any offence this may give, but in true Englishman style, I find it easy to talk about sensitive things with humour. I still refer to man's 'bits' rather than the biological term as an example.

The really determined of you might still be holding out for the answer to the question. It seems that the hole digging led to the man at the desk giving up his solemn face and telling me that many sources claim it is about 20 people a year that die off Beachy Head, he was aware of double that amount this last year. The Chaplaincy are the only people who keep accurate records, but they weren't around to ask. They were probably driving about in the 4 X 4 interfering.....er I mean patrolling the area.

Beachy Head isn't a good way to go, but it is a good place to go, unless you've been feeling a little down recently that is.

Ketchup, I mean catchup

I've noticed that most people do not post on their blog for 1 of 2 reasons. 1. They have been too busy. Or 2. they are too miserable, down or depressed.

This is for normal people mind. In my case it's reason 3. because I've been abducted by aliens and subjected to all manner of pleasant and unpleasant testing and anal probing.

This is the only way I can explain life and my disappearance from the blogging scene.

For instance, a couple of weeks ago I got locked out of my house. I knew just as I closed the front door what i'd done. I recall a half dream of my wife saying she had taken my keys as she couldn't find her's. Thats why they weren't in my coat pocket! This happens I guess. It doesn't help the feeling you get in these situations of being stupid and ridiculous. I also had another problem. It was 1.30 pm on a Monday and I work from home. I was only meant to be popping up the road to get myself some lunch and a drink. It was a relief to discover my phone was in my pocket, so I could at least make the embarrassing call to my boss to explain why I wasn't working. I knew that i'd not be getting into the house too quickly, today was the day my wife had gone up to London with the kids to some museum. I had a car I couldn't get into sitting outside the house, as again my wife had my keys. I would have been happy to have gone to Eastbourne or even Brighton for the afternoon as there was nothing else I could do. But no! no house and no car. Lack of transport limited where I could go. Oh well, never mind, they would be back by dinner time.

After excepting that this was it I realised it wasn't so bad. I had my wallet so I could always get some grub and drink. The local shop was only 10 mins away, and it was an opportunity to do some gardening, that i'd not normally get. After some dodgy unlocking of my gate, I went into the garden to the shed. I discovered a little friend, a really attractive peacock butterfly. He had been unable to get out of the shed so I helped him out. See it was worth all this just for that. My new mate showed his appreciation by letting me take some photo's of him on some flowers a little later. Here's he is.


Things were going so well, until I got a text from my wife to say she was having dinner whilst in London now, and wouldn't be back till after 8 pm. It's then I also noticed it was getting cold. I had a choice, go get some fish and chips and try to sit it out, or, see if I can pop around to one of my new friends homes when they get back from lunch. The latter is not my sort of thing at all. For a start these guys don't know me that well yet as I've only been here a year. Probably the main thing is that although I'm a sociable guy, I don't like appearing 'needy' to others. I've called out for help in the past and was let down badly, so this was an issue for me. Pride looked like it was going to get in the way, until nature decided on the solution to my problem. It was the cold and the desperate need for the toilet that made up my mind. I had to phone a friend.

I called Laurence, who only lived a few minutes away from my house. To my utter amazement, he immediately said "no problem, give me a minute to speak to the Mrs and then come over and have dinner with us". I offered to pick up my dinner from the shop, but he wouldn't have any of it! When I turned up both he and his wife said they've never seen me so sheepish. This hospitality has reaffirmed that there are genuine people in this world, who care about others. I'll try not to be such a cynic next time. Let me tell you coming into the warm again was heavenly, and the relief of using the toilet was paradise.

I've had other odd experiences lately aswell, some good and some not quite as good. Due to time I can't go into them now, i'm sure thats a relief. I have checked to make sure the probe mentioned earlier has been removed now, and there are no signs of tampering that I can see, although i'm sure my feet glow in the bed now at night, odd that. (which reminds me ....did you know a new X-Files movie is coming out this year?)

I don't want to go overboard, but......

did any of you see the Cutting Edge program on Channel 4 last night? The title was 'Strictly Baby Fight Club'.

It was perhaps one of the most distressing programs I've seen for a while. It was about these parents that make their kids do child Thai Boxing. These kids are in the ring in organized fights from the ages of 4 or 5 in some cases.

One family take there kid to Thailand for matches as there's more money involved, but the kids do not wear any guards for protection. One father described these fights, "the Thai kids just see a foreigner in the ring and want to smash them in".

One 5 year old little girl was being obviously forced rather than willingly to fight another 6 year old girl in the ring, who had beaten her the time before. The parents were shouting at her to beat this other girl in! The father almost ridiculed the fact the little girl cried after the fight and wanted to go home and play with her dressing up stuff and tiara.

I can understand (not agree) that some kids may desire to take up boxing and like that sort of thing. It's not my style, but I can see it could provide an outlet for a kid with too much energy. This was taken much further than this and was prizefighting for infants, who were being trained to show exceptional aggression in infancy. Parents have a unique responsibility to bestow a gift to there children that will help them in life, but these parents have given the gift of violence. It has been proven time and again that Violence begets violence. Violence doesnt provide security and protection, it doesn't prepare people for love and consideration. (i'm going to have to stop now)

When we hear about abuse in the world I can't help but think that people like this are doing exactly that. They lose their rights to have children in my opinion. My feelings on this are much stronger than I wish to convey in this post as I don't want to be provocative.

Please review the program if you get a chance and i'd be interested in your opinion.
here's a couple of Youtube links to clips from this program.
Clip 1
Clip2
Clip3

I'll leave this direct quote from the Channel 4 website about the little girl of 5 i mentioned above.

As the father of a daughter in particular, Darren feels that it will help Miah to stand on her own two feet and encourage her to be able to take more care of herself when she is older.

Determined to make champions of his kids, they are encouraged to train three times a week and compete in the ring against other children. But pre-match jitters often get the better of Miah, who has to be coaxed into the ring on more than one occasion. "Every time she goes in that ring, there is always a worry she will start crying", admits Darren. But nonetheless he remains determined and ambitious.

For her next fight, Darren is taking no chances. He has 'bulked' her up so she is not at a weight disadvantage against her older opponent. Will this be enough for a win to make daddy's day or will the five-year-old, with a penchant for disco dancing and dressing up as a princess, go home empty-handed once again.

The difference 2 days can make.

I don't plan to be another Englishman that talks too much about the weather, but I'm quite amazed at the difference 2 days makes. I'd heard snows was coming, but never thought it would hit this far south.


This was taken early Friday evening after a Fish & Chip supper down by the sea. All day had been tee-shirt weather.


Never would have thought that 2 days later on the Sunday we'd be pulling sledges through the snow. We had a stormer of a snowball fight in the park over the road, screaming and shouting with fun and laughter. When my son got too cheeky I just reminded him of some yellow snow we'd seen, that sorted him out!! ha ha


It's melting already and I can be pretty sure that by tomorrow it will be clear again.


btw - don't forget to read my previous posts if you haven't already!!!

Ashes to Ashes....

Ashes to Ashes, Funk to funky
We know Major tom's a Junkie.......

This song has been going around my head for weeks now and I know why. It's the drama on BBC that's just finished it's first season.

Coming on the back of 'Life on Mars', which set is 1973, 'Ashes to Ashes' is based in 1981. Both shows are about police officers that are injured on duty and end up in a coma whch sends them back in time. The unusual link is that the other characters in the show are the same. (more or less) The real gem is that both shows introduce us to Gene Hunt, the straight talking, sexist, macho brother of Jack Regan. Every profane comment that comes out of his mouth is pure gold.

If I had to make a choice over which series I prefer I think i'd go with 'Ashes', just because the vibe is more upbeat and the music is much better. 'Life on Mars', reminds me too much of the 70's and how grim it was. The feeling is captured perfectly. I can almost taste the Homepride white bread and smell the dog pooh. I get reminders of walking to school with holes in my shoes and watching Big Daddy wrestling on a Saturday afternoon. Which doesn't sound all that bad I guess, but the memory seems to be set in a dirtier and greyer time in my head.

The 80's weren't perfect by any means, but choosing 1981 for 'Ashes' was a good move. It was the start of changes in peoples lives. A little less hand to mouth for many. Music was powerful and a lot of new sounds were being born out of punk. In fact i think this may have been my personal experience rather everyone else's life too. I just wish I had been that bit older in 1981, so that I could have immersed myself into the sounds of the time. I was only 10 or 11 years, which was too young to truly appreciate the innovation and rawness of music at that time. When I was shopping for music everything had gone drastically downhill. Stock, Aitken and Waterman were playing with our minds and our tastes. I think it was this that drove me to listening to old time Motown, Soul and Blues, which is as far as I could get away from the bland blended benign commercial muck of the later 80's. ( my music influences, thats for another post I think)

So i've come to a conclusion that yes I prefer Ashes, but thats more to do with my association with the time than the show itself. These shows are the most original TV drama's to grace our screens for a very long time, and because of this the producers will flog it to death until we are sick of it. I wish we had the same originality with comedy, which in my mind had its greatest decade in the 70's. I can replay some of the scenes from Christmas specials over and over in my mind without getting bored of them. (Four Candles) That my friends is a story for another time....

been making my mind up!

Sounds very Bucks Fizz-ish I know.

I never make decisions that involve technology quickly, that and the fact is hate paying over the odds for ANYTHING. I'm almost so obsessive that i'm daring the prices to go down after I buy things. I torture myself by checking the prices for weeks after a purchase. Am I the only one that does this?? Surely there aren't others too? If i searched the internet I'd bet there a name for it even. Some phobia like post-purchasaphobia! In fact there you go I've invented it!

So anyway as it stands, I have finally made by new TV purchase. I phoned up my local Richer Sounds store in Brighton (local 45 mins away!!) and reserved a Sony Bravia which according to almost everyone I had spoken to and the professional reviews was the best. I had spent weeks comparing reviews so that I didn't get this purchase wrong, and was confident i'd done my best. Last Wednesday I went to the store and had a great shopping experience with the top notch staff there, and inevitably returned home that evening with a .......Philips! (click link to see my choice)

Why the change of mind. For a start that's typical of me. Then it comes down to one simple fact, reviews are a total waste of time and you have to decide for yourself. To me the choice was obvious when i compared products.

So my advice for the future, when making your mind up I suggest you do just that. Make YOUR mind up and ignore anyone else's. And also if you are going to buy Audio or Video go to Richer Sounds as they have the best display and the most knowledgeable staff. (and the prices are very good)

I Can't Stop Crying...........read and see why

Crying is a powerful visual show of emmotion, but we cry for many reasons.

For instance:
- Crying because we are heartbroken or upset over a sad news.
- Chopping onions causes us to cry.
- Glare from the son, or bright lights when driving at night can do it too.
- Crying because we have been physically hurt. Like a child in the playground who has fallen off a climbing frame.
- Sobbing out of frustration.
- Then there's the crying because you are happy, tears of joy!

Well yesterday I had an occurance that other guys will relate to i'm sure. Firstly it started when the kettle stopped working, which made me feel a bit miffed as I had to use the saucepan on the stove for hot water. It was obviously the day for electricals to die as in the afternoon my son came up to my office to tell me the telly was playing up. Huff-Puff oh what have you done now and the like came from my mouth. I am convinced nobody else in my household can use anything electrical other than me. I feel I have to make a presentation to the whole family explaining how something works everytime we get a electrical appliance of any sort. I'm standing there with a flip chart explaining what a switch does on the kettle. Also how hot water only happens if you put cold water in it first.

I tried this too when we originally bought the telly. I had diagrams and practicle training sessions on the workings of the off and on button along with use of the volume control on the remote. I'll limit my comment on 'using the remote control' session to a simple nooooo you just dont get it!! This led to the type of crying known as 'sobbing out of frustration'. It has hasnt got any better since, because no matter how many times I explain how the telly works (dont get me started on the differences between composite and RGB, or switching between the Digi Box and the DVD player) 10 mins later the family are back asking the same thing over again. So having my son tell me it was up the spout brought on despair as here I go again! Anyway, immediately I can see the image on the screen jumping about like TV's did in the 70's when you hit them to fix them. Sigh....it must be a knocked out connection or something. After some basic fault checking I realised no this was the real thing the TV was broken. Here's where the crying comes into its own! First i felt a crescendo of despair, 'oh no not something else that's broken'. Then it became tears of sadness over the end of a good television and the subsequent cost of replacing it. Finally and i'm sure you fella's will relate to this, it was the tears of joy! I'm going to buy a new telly!!! I'm going to check all of the reviews and test out lots and lots of tellys to find our new one. I can only explain this feeling as like discovering that chocolate is in fact non-fattening and should be eaten twice a day for a healthy lifestyle and complexion.

So don't concern yourself about my tears, be joyful that i'm entering the world of widescreen LCD entertainment! In fact rumour has it the my darling wife thinks it would be a good idea to get Sky+ whilst we are at it too. Who am I to say no. Ok Ok the reality of all this is that i'll be explaining how it all works again to the family, but thats a small price to pay for the male equivalent to lying in a bath of creamy cadburys.

Can you hear the screams??

I though i'd give you an update on Delmonti's condition. (in fact he has blogged from his hospital bed this morning too)

He had the hip-op on Monday morning, not to be confused with hip-hop which is a long way off for the fella I think. I believe that was all as successful as hoped. In D's own words, "they haven't put an offer in for my shoes, so thats a good sign". He was quite chirpy and chatty on Monday as the anaesthetic hadn't worn off. Needless to say that changed later in the day!

He hasn't really been able to sleep much due to the pain since the operation. Tuesday the physiotherapist had him up taking a few steps and bringing on floods of pain and a great variety of colourful words and thoughts, he certainly has a vivid imagination and vocabulary. No greater moment was this demonstrated than with the catheter removal, which produced a noteable mention in the screeming like a banshee contest. According to the nurses they hadn't heard anything like it since that famous delivery in the maternity ward of baby X, also codenamed 'Melon Head'. The mother was said to be screaming for 17 days and 14 hours AFTER the birth of the baby with the record breaking head.

I do recall mention of horse tranquilizers to beef up the morphine, but i'm not sure if that was just wishful thinking or not. I am quite happy to fund a visit from the vet if he thinks it would help. It should be a simple thing as these guys normally have to deal with moving targets.

I hope the cranky fella recovers soon, and wish him well and a super fast recovery. I've just heard he's been up on the crutches again today so thats a great sign that things are going the right way.

I was hoping to get some celebs to pop in and cheer him up, but sorry mate this was the best I could do.

With appreciation to the cheeky girls for dropping everything in their busy schedules to show consideration to the public like this.

Photo's

Things seem more stable at the moment. The Old Fella (father in law) has after what everyone thought was going to be the end, recovered a bit. This has given us all a bit of mental and emmotional rest for now which was needed. Also it's given me a chance to post again, but i've obviously got a lot of catching up to do. Here's some photo's of things we've been up to that i'd like to share.

The kids are getting a science lesson from uncle Geoff. We had some good fun with explosions and chemical reactions that day.

Taken at Highpoint wood not far from us. We needed to get some freshair and decided on a family walk that afternoon. Kids loved it. Bit muddy though, and I made everyone except me of course take their shoes off before getting into the car. There's lots of these sorts of places to discover nearby. This is the first of many this year i'm betting. In fact this weekend we even went down to the beach and kicked the ball around and chased the waves, making ourselves wet. It was great! I can see it's about time to get the kites out again, maybe this weekend?

This was from 2 weeks back. The kids along with myself and my mate Dave went for a wonder and checked out some of the pools. It had been a sunny day but we didnt get a chance to go out till later in the day. The sun was going down and it was much colder. It's always fun and interesting walking down by the sea though. There was loads of wood along our beach from this shipwreck in Dorset. Amazing how it came as far East as this. Most of it has already been scavaged by locals, and my new decking in the garden is looking a treat. :)

Monty Python

I wouldn't have said I have been naturally drawn to the humour of the 'Python' team in the past. My opinion was not based on knowledge. As a youth it just wasn't my thing. For a start it wasn't anything like 'The Two Ronnies', 'Morecombe and Wise' or even 'Cannon and Ball'. Also I may have been distracted by another episode of 'The A-Team'. (what you looking at fool)

As time as gone past i've realised that a lot of 'grown ups' really love Monty's humour. So, over the years, I've taken every opportunity I have to watch them and see if I can finally 'get it'!

A month ago I saw 'The Holy Grail' and this last weekend I caught 'The Meaning of Life'. In past i'd seen 'The Life of Brian', and I must admit that film was very good. You had clever people being and writing a very clever story, with a multitude of quotable scenes. That's not so true of the other films. The Grail was ok with the only highlight being the Black Knight. The rest was blah. In comparison the abomination that was 'The Meaning of Life', a dull and unfunny movie. Whatever message was trying to be conveyed was lost in a deep well of tar with rock on top, and earth, and some grass, and maybe some flowers with a cherry to garnish.

So if i'm walking down the street and a stranger asks me if I like Monty Python, I can grimace and say, "nah, not really" with good conscience.

Why have I decided to mention this?

1) Because i'm trying to write something that isnt to do with my dying father-inlaw.
2) With a serious need to cheer up, i've had Eric Idle singing 'Always Look on the Bright Side of Life' running through my head for the last day. In an attempt to cheer myself up. It's with this that I conclude my comments on Monty Python. This one song and scene is enough to make up for the rest! Click the photo! (pssst... click on the other links too)