When you are young, friends are the nippers that call at your house wanting to go for a kick around. Or they are the guys that you build an obsticle course with and race each other to do the fastest lap on your bikes. (many a time i was polaxed on a chopper) Or the ones that would go conkering (searching for conkers) with you in the woods, so you could collect 500 different sized and shaped (cheese cutters included) conkers that would never stand a chance of all being used to play the game. Friends in those days were just about the kids you would do stuff with, nothing more nothing less, no expectations.
Then why is it different when we become adults? I wish I knew the answer. I believe that generally people view friends as ones who they can relate to, that understand them.
But now I don't even expect that from friends anymore. For me a real friends isn't someone who's like me, understands me, wants to do the same stuff as me all the time.
Now all I want from a friend is someone who accepts me as me and doesn't run off if things get a little tough.Loyalty is definately in there somewhere. I don't want a clone, I like people being different and I am happy to accept those differences, but i've noticed though that many struggle to warm up to whats different.
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4 comments:
I have to agree with you completely. I hit that rut this year. I have lost many many people I considered 'friends' this year. Mostly because they sucked me dry. I gave and gave and got nothing in return. That's not a friend. So I am well shot of them. They fucked me over and I no longer speak to any of them.
I have one or two friends. Thats all. People who I trust enough I can tell them anything that troubles me and they still stick around to help
I dont make friends easily here (Surrey, uk)..... but thats out of choice. People in this area are onloy interested in what they can get out of their "friends".. of course, thats a sweeping generalisation, but if you've ever read my blog then you'll know I'm always right.
Loyalty, definitely. Also truth-telling (and sometimes we don't like to hear it) - all the while remaining loyal to us, however. I have a handful of friends that have known me since I was 6 or 7. I can be myself with them - can't bullshit someone who's known you since your nose-pickin' days (or childhood, whichever came first). For more recent additions to the stable of friends, trust (and being able to overlook that I tend to speak before I think . . . forgiveness!) is the big quality. Betrayal is the absolute worst - forgivable, but never forgettable.
So for me it comes down to loyalty, truth-telling, and trust - and getting to be yourself without retribution.
Happy New Year!
Thanks, at least i'm not on my own with this one.
It all comes from being let down by ones whom I have spent 'years' on building up a friendship, and being there through thick and thin for them. I just turned my back one day and they were off!
I think they just looked at the friendship differently. So different in fact that I thought we had one and they didn't !! :-)
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