Whats the worse that could happen?

Ha ha that's what I was trying not to think about before the operation. As a man we have definite views on what's the worse that could happen. It was because of this that I purposefully didn't ask the surgeon on Saturday to explain the procedure for my operation.

Although he wasn't explicit, he said something that alarmed me. It was when he smiled and bragged, "i've not have to cut someone open for kidney stones since 1985!". Although i'm sure he intended the comment as reassuring, it wasn't. You see all that made me think was, 'if he isn't going to cut me, how is he going to get to the stone?". Any guys reading this i think will get the relevance of the question. All I could do was try to ignore any thoughts about any of it, although that isn't easy whilst they are jabbing and prodding you in pre-op.

I recall in my prevous post that my main concern about the operation was if they were going to incert a catheter, the idea of that and the soreness made me feel sick. Little did I know that was the least of my concerns. I will try not to be graphic and crude. It wasn't a catheter that I had to deal with as I came out from the anasthetic...oh no. It was the realisation that the whole tool kit had been used 'THERE'. (I hope you fellas are starting to wince a bit now) I had this great urge to go to the toilet, and they passed me a container under the sheet. I couldn't go but when I brought my hand up, there was a lot of claret on it. Oh no what have they done! It took me 2 hours before I was brave enough to have a look. I shed a tear, things will never be the same.

Now its a couple of days later, and the burning has died now. I feel a little bit sore still and I am on painkillers, but thankfully I have calmed down. All I try to concentrate on now is the fact that I had a great meal in hospital and the potato and leek soup was possibly the best thing i've tasted in years. Believe me you have to try and think of something optimistic about a situation that may have left me with an emmotional scar for life.

btw to any women reading this I will say 2 things. 1) yes I am a moaning softie BUT 2) general concensus is that kidney stones are the closest thing men can get to labour pains.