Birds and cars just dont mix

It was after seeing a young seagull this morning when going to the 'hairdressers' to get my 6 weekly haircut. Thoughts began to connect in my brain (slowly obviously), and it involved cars. The gull looked fluffier and scruffier than a normal white gull we have down here. This was because it still had it's baby feathers, although nearly full adult size. Anyway, I digress as always. Seeing this chap reminded me of a past post about these blighter's being rats of the sky's that find pleasure in marking your car as a sign of ownership, like a cat sprays to mark it's territory. You have to get use to this fact , accepting that you are going to be washing off bird pooh forever.

I do smile though when I see the vindictive nature of these 'ownership ......patches'. (for wont of a better word) It doesn't matter how pretty or expensive your car is , when these guys decide you are the object of their obsession at that time, you are in for it! They will cover your car!! And I mean cover, I really do! To help demonstrate what I mean, whilst sitting in my car at the local retail park, I was watching one guy as he was trying all he could to clear the bird mess from his car. He had just popped in the shop for a few minutes, but believe me when I say, that by the time he returned, every panel on his new Chrysler PT Cruiser had been hit. What makes this fact even more amazing is that the other cars next to it were not touched. His face was a picture, all read and sweaty, and he couldn't believe it. Can you imagine the utter hopeless feeling he must have had at this discovery? Then realising that people were looking at you, and that you had no option but to try and clear up as best you can. I'm surprised people didnt bring benches and chairs out to watch him. Imagine the cursing that he said under his breath!! I shouldn't laugh at the poor man, but the funny thing is, I can quite see the seagulls point, the PT Cruiser is a butt ugly car!

I can assure you that I had nothing to do with the next example. My mother in laws car. Well, ive just never seen anything like it. She had half her car saturated in the seagull 'tags'. Half a car is exactly what i mean too. All of the drivers side of the car, including half of the bonnet, roof and boot were splattered. It was such a perfect job that you could have used a ruler to follow the line perfectly. I wont say I thought this was very funny as you never know who's reading this post. I can't help thinking that the gulls have got a wicked sense of humour and a definite taste in cars. They must have taken exception to my mother in laws blue Toyota Yaris, maybe it was too boring or something.

I come to the final part of this post. I recently had my car serviced at the dealership, and they gave me a loan car for the day. Maybe it was too much to ask for this to have been a Mitsubishi Evo X or a Colt Convertable, but I never expected it would be butt ugly vehicle what is named the I-Car. I said butt ugly on purpose, because it looks just like a butt as shown in the image on the right. They said do I mind an auto? I said no, because I thought it would be some tasteful saloon car. How mistaken I was!! The reality was a small stunted abomination of a vehicle. To make it worse they had it plastered with advertising and sales details. Driving the car was embarrassing enough, but this made it unbearable. I've always fancied having a go in one of those small Smart cars, just for a laugh. After driving this similar looking machine, that desire has disappeared up itself. I hated everything about the looks,the space and the handling. If there was ever a car that needed to be splatted by the Seagulls this was it. Did they? No. Either they had been afraid to get near it, just in case it was catching, or I am miles off the mark in what is and is not, a nice looking car.

Some guys think having a flash car will help them get birds. I'm holding off buying my new Aston-Martin DB9 just in case the birds don't like it. I don't think I could take that kind of rejection.