Diamond Geezer

I have long held a theory. That all of us have a bogey group, band or performer that we secretly love, but are to ashamed to admit it in public because they are cheesy or untrendy. Some of us may keep the CD's hidden behind our Pink Floyd or Deep Purple albums. We get them out and rock away to them when nobody is about. Maybe we put them in the car to play on long journeys.

It's on long journeys that my shame becomes evident. I love love love singing along to Neil Diamond's album, the Jazz Singer. 'America' stirs my emotions and I can't help stretching the vocal cords to near breaking point imagining that I am 'The Diamond'. 'Love on the Rocks' and 'Hello Again' make me floppy and smile contentedly like a baby that has just been fed and burped.

My wife was aware of my vice, and as a special for our 16th Wedding Anniversary bought tickets for us to see the man himself at the O2 Arena in London.

I was always aware that Neil (as I like to call him) has a great following of the maturer generation. I think I underestimated this fact when at the concert. I haven't felt so young since I tried to buy my first pint of beer at the age of 14. It seemed that a good 50% of those attending needed walking assistance of some kind or another. I'm surprised Stannah wasn't advertising like mad all around the venue! They'd have made a fortune with this audience. Those that were able bodied we're still of the blue rinse generation, a good 40 years my senior.

Don't think that these oldies had no life in them, because believe me when 'The Diamond' came on stage, the old ladies sprung to life. You've never seen anything like it. I reckon a good proportion of those present had pushed there hip replacement operations forward just so they were agile enough to show their object of lust a trick or two. The poor man had to keep dodging the old ladies 'Trollies'(knickers) being thrown at him. A detail I'd never experienced before was the amount of people walking about during the concert. It irritated me at first, because these old ones should be better behaved than that. Then I as I thought about it I realised these people probably had inflamed prostates and dodgy bags attached to their thighs that needed regular emptying before they exploded on those round and about. When I saw it in this context I was impressed that they lasted as long as they did between pee breaks!

Just because this was happening don't think I was too busy watching the oldies exhibiting there wares to enjoy the show myself. Let me tell you now, it would take a heartless man not too have got himself up singing along to 'Sweet Carolyn' until he's hoarse. You also have to applaud the performance and professionalism. It was a flawless. He did this all without any intermissions or breaks, just a solid 2 hours or so of the main man entertaining his audience.

Both wifey and I came away smiling. We had had a lovely afternoon and evening out together. It was an entertaining experience, that left us feeling happy on the long old journey back to the coast on the train.

So then i've been willing to bear my soul to you and admit my dodgy liking for Neil Diamond. Whilst i'm at it i'll also admit to having an obsession for The Bee Gees, and appreciation of Tom Jones and the Monkees. I can't explain or excuse these facts. I recon though i'm not the only one!! Go on share your dark secret love of a dodgy group or performer with me. Just Add a Comment, don't worry I wont tell anyone!

p.s do click the links to hear the man's music for yourself! Give into the cheese!!!