What does it say about me

I recall a personality test I did for a job about 20 years ago, done by some chap called McQuaig. It asked you to rate what you thought of yourself and what you believed your friends thought of you. I think in principle it was saying that, what you think your friends think of you is more like you really are, and what you think of yourself, is your potential, what you could become.
Does that come across clearly enough? err ...hope so.

Anyway it was with this thought I was thinking what do the cards my friends sent me when I was sick say about what they think of me? For instance this one.......


Then there are the 2 I got via Moonpig.com (obviously their advertising is working), that seem to suggest that the brewer industry would be suffering whilst I was ill and unable to drink.

This goes back to my point, what does this all say about me? I like to think it says I have a good sense of humour and enjoy a sherbert with my friends.

Whats the worse that could happen?

Ha ha that's what I was trying not to think about before the operation. As a man we have definite views on what's the worse that could happen. It was because of this that I purposefully didn't ask the surgeon on Saturday to explain the procedure for my operation.

Although he wasn't explicit, he said something that alarmed me. It was when he smiled and bragged, "i've not have to cut someone open for kidney stones since 1985!". Although i'm sure he intended the comment as reassuring, it wasn't. You see all that made me think was, 'if he isn't going to cut me, how is he going to get to the stone?". Any guys reading this i think will get the relevance of the question. All I could do was try to ignore any thoughts about any of it, although that isn't easy whilst they are jabbing and prodding you in pre-op.

I recall in my prevous post that my main concern about the operation was if they were going to incert a catheter, the idea of that and the soreness made me feel sick. Little did I know that was the least of my concerns. I will try not to be graphic and crude. It wasn't a catheter that I had to deal with as I came out from the anasthetic...oh no. It was the realisation that the whole tool kit had been used 'THERE'. (I hope you fellas are starting to wince a bit now) I had this great urge to go to the toilet, and they passed me a container under the sheet. I couldn't go but when I brought my hand up, there was a lot of claret on it. Oh no what have they done! It took me 2 hours before I was brave enough to have a look. I shed a tear, things will never be the same.

Now its a couple of days later, and the burning has died now. I feel a little bit sore still and I am on painkillers, but thankfully I have calmed down. All I try to concentrate on now is the fact that I had a great meal in hospital and the potato and leek soup was possibly the best thing i've tasted in years. Believe me you have to try and think of something optimistic about a situation that may have left me with an emmotional scar for life.

btw to any women reading this I will say 2 things. 1) yes I am a moaning softie BUT 2) general concensus is that kidney stones are the closest thing men can get to labour pains.

A Rolling stone .......

When it comes to Kidney Stones the saying that 'a rolling stone gathers no moss' may be true. BUT, instead of gathering moss it gathers the screams of a million peoples agony, and maybe some blood. (hmm nice)

So I thought I'd just add this update as I've not been able to until now due to being 'poorly'. As I'm going under the knife tomorrow I wanted to say so long and it's been nice knowing you.

Think of me during the daytime hours. Don't be surprised if you can hear an inhuman scream or wale. It's probably just me having the catheter removed. Or worse still, they haven't got the amount of anaesthetic quite right.

Doesn't smell like mine

Got back from our holiday to Ireland on Sunday evening. All of the family were looking forward to getting back home as we had had an extended journey with 'essential engineering works' causing delays to trains, and also meaning we would be doing a large part of the journey on a smelly bus on our way back from the airport.

Although the bus smell was awful, that is not the smell I'm talking about in this post. It was the smell of the house! You may not be like me, but, if I've been away there is something reassuring and familiar about the smell of your own home. You walk in through the door and the smell as much as anything tells you that you are home.

The thing was the house didn't smell like mine. It smelt odd. Not nasty, just odd. It had a sort of mango-ey tropical niff, not a scent that I associate with our home. Over the years I've come to appreciate the sense of smell. I always check fruit out for ripeness by sniffing it. Then there was the big one, 'baby whiff'. This is the smell of your baby that has an almost hypnotic reaction in a parent. The smell seems to come from the back of the head and confirms what the eyes can see, that yes this child is mine. It can make you feel everything is ok, even when you are tired and worn out. I guess in the animal world this happens all the time, and is more important than physical features.

Back to my house. Do I know why the smell was ...wrong? Yes I do. Although it wasn't MY smell I did recognise the smell. It smelt like my mother-in-laws house before she moved into ours. I'm not going to complain about it, but my job now is to ensure our niff is the most prominent one again. So I have primed the wife and kids to rub our scent on everything like house cats. I have said no spraying your scent like cats do, but it is ok to leave the bathroom door open until I feel the balance has stacked back in our favor.

Ouch!

After an alarming trip to the toilet yesterday, my doctor has confirmed I have either a urinary infection or kidney stones. I'm hoping its the infection. Apparently the latter is the closest a man can get to the pain of childbirth. What adds complication to this is that i'm on holiday with the family as of tomorrow. We are off to not-so-sunny Ireland for 10days. I'm looking forward to it as long as I do not have any health 'issues' during that time. I have been given antibiotics so hopefully that should clear it all up. If not! You may hear the screams of a man in great pain blowing over the waters to England or wherever you may be. It wont be next doors cat, or foxes mating, no, it'll be me trying to pass a pebble.

As a change of subjects. I have been asked about what I could do for this Bexhill talent show I was in last year. Apparently we are doing 2 shows this time. I'm all up for a some sort of performance, as just standing there singing is a bit dull. I will likely sing but it has to be fun or interesting. Any thoughts? I was thinking about asking one of the young ladies who sang solo last year if she'd like to do a duet, but I recon she'll say no and anyway she's good and i'm not. I don't mind comedy if you can think of anything.

Anyway speak when i get back eh!

weighing it all up

This post is a bit mundane, of which I can only apologise. I had to tell someone though, because it is good news. You see when it comes to losing weight I'm always sceptical about myself and that I will keep it up. That chocolate and ice cream will make me fall. That crisps and cakes will dissolve my resolve. (ooo poetry) But after realising that unless I did something drastic about my weight and do it now, i'd only be able to weigh myself on HGV scales when the operator was at lunch. Knowing how it is for me i'd bet he'd take sandwiches that day and be working through lunch anyway.

To be honest I have felt so sickened and disgusted with myself and my weight, that the wrong sort of food just makes me grimace. Thing is that isn't a negative feeling for me. I'm really pleased it has made me feel like that. I have come to realise that any half-hearted approach to weight loss just doesn't work. I can't be moderate or modest or even controlled because they are just excuses to eat rubbish from time to time. To do that would be the end of it for me, and i'm now getting to a point where I think I'm going to do this right and sort myself out once and for all!

So, let me talk results to date. Well i'm very pleased and a bit shocked that I have lost only half a pound shy of 2 stone in weight (thats 28 pounds!). That means i'm half way through my first target of 4 stone. I'm really please with that. I'm also pleased that I don't feel the urge to celebrate with fish and chips! Nope i'm happy as I am for now, and i'm not going change anything as its working.

Sorry to bore you.

Its started!

I know I know, i'm sure you told me so.

Poor Linda (mother-in-law) and I have locked horns a couple of times already. I've got to stop being pig-headed I guess. I don't want her to feel miserable here, but I think at the moment she hasn't felt like its a barrel of laughs either. I can't say much more as it wouldn't be fare, but I do want to try harder to help her to settle. This was made more difficult when she twisted her ankle yesterday and spent over 6 hours in A&E (ER to some of you) in Hastings. So now there is an invalid hobbling around with crutches. (reminds me of Kermit the frogs reaction in the movie when he saw the poster for frogs legs) As far as the hospital is concerned, that place was diabolical! Some people were there for more than 8 hours, with broken limbs waiting to be seen. It felt like the middle ages, I never thought i'd wish we could use St Peters again. (must be bad)